John Whitehead's Commentary
On Being A Father
married, and within a couple of years we were standing at the altar. Then I
told her that I never wanted children but fell hook, line and sinker when
our first child, Jayson, arrived in October of 1970. Although I thought I
had not wanted children, as soon as Jayson was placed in my arms, I became
the classic doting father. In fact, fearing that he would go blind if any
flashbulbs went off in his eyes, I wouldn't even take any photographs of him
in the hospital.
Carol and I ended up having five children, and I repeated this scenario over
and over-except as the boys still remind me, I was always a bit more doting
on our only daughter.
But I believe that attitude of care and concern is what children are all
about. They're brought into this world to be loved. Love in this context,
however, is not the touchy, feely stuff usually associated with the concept.
It is, instead, love in action, a love that meets a need.
I learned this from my own father. Dad was a factory worker, and times were
often lean. I remember one Christmas (sometime in the late 1950s) that I
wanted a cowboy gun and holster. I got the pistol, but my parents couldn't
afford the holster. So my dad made one for me out of one of my mother's old
leather purses. It didn't look like the ones on television, but it worked.
And when my friends made fun of it, I felt ashamed. But I remember feeling
good that my dad cared enough to do what he could to make a little boy's
Christmas dream come true.
Children learn from situations such as this. And that's one of the key
facets of being a father-that is, teaching. This can be in table manners,
tying shoes, driving the family car, and so on. Patiently and lovingly, we
should teach our children what we expect of them.
As a father, one of my primary responsibilities is to see that my children
are taught moral values. One of the great cancers of modern society is the
lack of moral teaching. As a consequence, many of our young people have no
real concept of right and wrong.
There are obviously many wrongs-stealing, lying, cheating, killing, etc. In
the end, however, I felt it was my duty as a father to teach my children the
golden rule of treating people the way they would want to be treated
themselves. Christ took this one step further when he said that we are to
love others as we love ourselves.
I always took this to mean that we are here on this planet for one essential
purpose: to help one another. And this doesn't simply mean our friends. It
means helping anyone we are able to help. This can range from volunteering
at the local hospital to the lawyer who gives her time to help someone who
cannot afford legal services. I was gratified when my daughter, Elisabeth,
volunteered her time at a home for unwed mothers where they're taught to
take responsibility for their lives. This, I believe, is the moral thing to
do.
Throughout my 30 years as a father, I've learned that perfection is an
impossibility. We can only do our best as frail human beings to love our
children and teach them to serve the higher purposes. Hopefully, as I've
seen in my children, they will develop a conscience and remember enough of
their father's teachings to carry on the good things they were taught.
ABOUT JOHN W. WHITEHEAD
Constitutional attorney and author John W. Whitehead is founder and president of The Rutherford Institute. His most recent books are the best-selling Battlefield America: The War on the American People, the award-winning A Government of Wolves: The Emerging American Police State, and a debut dystopian fiction novel, The Erik Blair Diaries. Whitehead can be contacted at staff@rutherford.org. Nisha Whitehead is the Executive Director of The Rutherford Institute. Information about The Rutherford Institute is available at www.rutherford.org.
Publication Guidelines / Reprint Permission
John W. Whitehead’s weekly commentaries are available for publication to newspapers and web publications at no charge. Please contact staff@rutherford.org to obtain reprint permission.
